PARKS

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I have to admit that, over the past few months, I wasn't the most consistent in terms of my well-being. I didn't go out, didn't move around, or eat healthily as much as I would've liked; instead, I constrained myself inside my room, indulging in the temporary pleasures like snacks, screens, and isolation. Frankly, it didn't feel ideal; I regretted doing it. It felt like all the progress I made went to waste, and I betrayed myself and others by doing it. I was reverting to a state reminiscent of my old self—a daily descent into my undesirable self. All the while, I would make plans in my head to get myself back into motion, but I always found myself not having the energy or motivation to do so, until...

"Why are you so fat now? You used to be skinny," these words and many variations of them were repeatedly said to me by my mom.

I have mixed feelings about how my mom communicates; it can sometimes feel insensitive, but it is always succinct and straightforward. It was a wake-up call for me; if someone other than me noticed my degradation, then that's how I know it's really bad. I would've positioned myself back into a healthy trajectory eventually, but I wouldn't have done so as soon as the moment my mother started speaking about it. I learnt that completely isolating yourself from others isn't always healthy. I truly realized the importance of having family and friends around you, especially if you've reached a state of limbo and you don't even realize it; chances are others do, and that acknowledgement may very well be the small shimmering light within the dark. That was my shimmering light.

After that, I decided for the first time in my life to go to the gym with my brother. I also went back to going outside like I used to, which led to the inception of this very collage. I decided I wanted to do something simple but portray the beauty in the ugly and the unseen, like I originally had done, and what better than parks? Parks are simple; they have trees, grass, benches, and sometimes playgrounds, (or some variation) but they are elegant in look and feel. Whenever I see a park, I think "Wow, that looks so quiet and serene," and they are! Sitting on a bench or under a tree while the wind is blowing, the leaves are falling, and the sun is shining, if you're barefoot, the soft blades of grass brush against your feet. It feels so heavenly. In a city, it's even better, finding a park in the center of skyscrapers, twisting roads of ever-flowing traffic, and urban fixtures posted up at every corner. It's like stumbling on an oasis in the middle of a desert.

Each photo is of a different park; they all look similar, but all have their own distinctive quality. It's hard to say what's my favorite, but if I had to pick, probably the first, because it looks like the archetypal park, when I think of a park, I think of that.